Slap Happy Fun Time

       Joshua's Folly - The Sacred Blade Of Profanity - Book II Toneye Eyenot 5/5       This isn't officially available yet and I don't even think that there's a pre-order link available but I couldn't actually wait until March 13 to read the second book in the Sacred Blade series. I was given an advanced copy for an honest review and I dove right in. The second book is actually a prequel which explains what led up to the first book. In Joshua things become a bit clearer and all the answers we wanted in the first book have now been answered. I also want to tell that there won't be any spoilers!        I like how Toneye did this. In any series there's always a lot of back story which usually bogs the books down, but here we have the prequel to explain how the series itself is set up. Everything was already set in motion, but the main question of why was left hanging. That allows the story to move forward and there's no more back ...

    The Scarlett Curse: The Sacred Blade of Profanity Book 1 - Toneye Eyenot  5/5                                                                          http://www.amazon.com/Scarlett-Curse-Sacred-Blade-Profanity-ebook/dp/B00ZDPCNQ6/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1456535439&sr=8-1&keywords=Toneye+Eyenot    I have to be honest and tell you that I'm not a fan of fantasy novels, but I am a fan of great stories and that is exactly what The Scarlett Curse is. Eyenot is a great story teller that gives us something unique with the first book in what I hope will be a very long series. As a story teller he manages to drop you into the middle of the story. It sounds confusing as hell, but trust me when I tell you that you should read this book. It's a unique approach and one th...

     Granville - Alice J Black & David Owain Hughes 5/5                                                                                 http://www.amazon.com/Granville-David-Hughes-ebook/dp/B01BUACCZO/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1456346710&sr=8-2&keywords=Granville      I was lucky enough to have won a copy of Granville during the release party on Facebook, but that's not why I'm writing this review. It would be too easy to just write a fluff piece and hope that people buy this book. I had planned on buying this anyway. All it took was the front cover. I saw that and knew that I wanted to read this book. I read a blurb a few hours later and then I had to read this book. A cover can say a lot about a book and just seeing that image was all I n...

     The Fuck-up  Arthur Nersesian 5/5                                                                 Sometimes a book comes along with a title that limits its audience based on the title alone. This is one of those books, but if you're mature enough to look beyond that then you're in for one hell of a read. It's one of those rare novels that doesn't become a mission to tell a happy story or give a wide variety of reasons for the characters behavior. The title character is just a complete and total fuck-up and there's nothing at all redeeming about him. Nothing about him is remotely likable, but the book is like a really bad car crash. You know you should look away, but you just can't. You have to take a peek and see just how bad it is.       What draws you in is Nersesian's writing styl...

     A Lion's Tale: Around The World In Spandex - Chris Jericho 5/5                                                                                                                                     It's true I'm that I'm a huge pro-wrestling fan, but the problem is that the bio's usually suffer from WWE censorship. The best ones are those that allow the whole story to be told. Warts and all. Those are rare and only one comes to mind and that's Mick Foley's. He proved that not only is his story one that needs to be read, but one that is not only full of hilarity but the stuff that we don't see behind the curtain. Foley's book proved that you ca...

     The Ball Washer - Lance Manion 4/5   https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/244563                                                 When you pick up a free book you really have no reason to complain. You took a risk and now there you are looking at your Kindle or tablet screen in either indifference or anger. The Ball Washer is a collection of flash fiction stories that range from out right hilarity to cringe inducing. There's no middle ground in Manion's collection and that's not a bad thing. He offers no apologies and you shouldn't ask for them because the book is free. It's an opportunity to check out a new writer and if you don't like it well you're not out anything. I had actually read this awhile ago and thought I'd check it out again. Sometimes a book just deserves a second read.      Manion's collection isn't for ev...

     Jeremy - Matt Hickman 5/5  http://www.amazon.com/Jeremy-Evil-Name-Horror-Novella-ebook/dp/B019BGXKQ4/ref=sr_1_1?s=music&ie=UTF8&qid=1455374397&sr=8-1&keywords=Jeremy+Matt+Hickman                                                                    There a lot of great horror novels coming out from across the pond and we can add Jeremy to that growing list. Matt's debut novella is the kind of book you read and it stays with you long after you finish it. It's brutal reality based horror that links together bullying and alienation to tell a story that is utterly terrifying and brutal. As you read it you're sucked into the story and you actually can relate to Jeremy and can understand how lonely he feels. We have known kids like Jeremy and that makes the first half so good. Matt ...

      Bloody Valentine (Quick Reads) - James Patterson 5/5                                                                  James Patterson is a guy that people love to hate and for good reason. He doesn't write his own books anymore and there's a simplicity that runs through all of them. Its that simplicity that has made him stupid rich. Soccer moms and people that are aren't readers will actually read this guys stuff because it's not going to demand a lot of thought. You can read a Patterson book and feel as if you're a reader even if you aren't. This is the measuring stick of popular, cookie cutter fiction. The stay at home moms, the grandmas, and the soccer moms are the audience you want if you want to be a best selling author. This is Patterson's fan base and as a writer I almost want to sell out...

     Flowers In A Dumpster - Mark Allan Gunnels 5/5    http://www.amazon.com/Flowers-Dumpster-Mark-Allan-Gunnells-ebook/dp/B018OJOJ3C/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8                                                                    I read a lot of horror and it took me awhile to actually get into single author compilations from new authors. A lot of them seemed to consist of one or two good stories and the rest would be filler that was just thrown in to boost a word count. It happens a lot more than you would think and it makes it extremely difficult to invest in a full length novel. A shorty story collection is a great way to show off your range and depth unless you suck and then you have nothing going for you except for a book full of short stories that are mediocre at best. These collections...

  After (After Series Book 1) - Samantha Gregory 5/5    http://www.amazon.com/After-Book-1-Samantha-Gregory-ebook/dp/B00KQ3IY54/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1454875011&sr=8-1&keywords=Samantha+Gregory                                                                     You're probably going to hear that this isn't your typical zombie novel or series and it's true. That's not a bad thing at all considering that every writer has attempted a zombie novel. Some of them stand out by being different while others stand out because they suck and just plod along rehashing the same ideas that everyone else has come up with. When I read a zombie novel I want to see something different, I want to be elevated beyond what everyone else has done and shown something different. The problem is that most write...

    The Violators - Vincenzo Bilof  5/5                                                                        I received a copy of The Violators quite a few months ago but I sat on it because I wanted to wait until the release date to review it. I got this in December and knew that it wasn't going to be released for another two months! Officially this is released on the 23rd of February, but I have yet to see any any pre-order info but It'll be there I promise. Once that info becomes available you should hit the pre-order button and this review will explain exactly why you should do that. Trust me, this is a book you want to purchase and forget the Kindle version. The cover alone deserves to be purchased as a paperback.      The Violators is a novel that destroys everyt...