Rob Zombie's 31

      31 Thoughts and a review

     Once upon a time I saw a trailer for a movie called House of 1000 Corpses, and was blown away. Finally a horror film that paid tribute to the films I grew up watching. The second it came out on DVD I snagged my copy and immersed myself in the mayhem. Corpses was, and is a huge influence on me and as I watched it I realized that this was a film by a guy known mostly for his music. It wasn't supposed to be this good, but it was. Critics of course dismissed it and most horror fans didn't understand it, but when it comes to horror films most critics are elite snobs anyway. What Corpses did was show us that you can make a decent horror film that is not only shocking, but entertaining.

      I became a fan of Zombie's films, but not his music To this day I still say that Lords Of Salem is his best film, and who knows I'm probably wrong. What matters is that when you see a Rob Zombie trailer you know you're in for one hell of a ride. Zombie's films are never boring, and they always deliver. Even Halloween II had decent moments in it and proved that as a filmmaker Zombie is creates some pretty decent horror. Sure, you can usually see what his influences are, but you'll have that with any director, and you'll always get it when you read a book by your favorite author. If you're a fan of his films, you always get excited when a new trailer is released. I saw a trailer for 31 and I couldn't wait until it was released. It was as if Christmas had come early. This was a good reason to celebrate.


        Then I began to see posts on Facebook from people that saw the film and I began to panic. Did it affect my desire to see it any less? Fuck no, it's a film by Rob Zombie. As soon as it comes out on Blu-ray I'm still going to buy it, and I'm going to see it no matter what. It could be the worst reviewed movie ever and I'd still see it. There's nothing you can say that would make me not want to see this film. I have seen the reviews and I've seen the Facebook posts, but I still sat down to watch 31. I had to see it for myself. I saw Blair Witch on Saturday despite what all the critics said I actually enjoyed it. I don't often agree with critics anyway. They get paid to give their opinion and people actually listen to what they say and allow these fucks to dictate what the watch and even what they listen to,

       Anyway 31 is not your typical Zombie film. It has certain elements of the same brutality and gore that we've come to know, but this one feels a little off. It's as if Zombie has run out of ideas and decided to give his fans exactly what they want. Does that make 31 a bad film? Not at all. It's still a pretty decent film but it's not his best work. We know what Zombie is capable of so as I watched 31 I felt my spirits sink a little. There are still moments in 31 that remind us that we're still watching a Rob Zombie film and that's the problem. He's seemingly going through the motions and giving us what we want. There's very little originality involved and we've seen this type of movie before.

      Maybe when we get the Director's cut we'll get a better version, maybe there's stuff here that reminds us why we love this guys films so damn much, Did I hate the film? Not by a long shot. It is a Rob Zombie film after all so there's still enough fucked up shit in here to keep me glued to the screen. If you hate the guy's films, you're going to hate this one too. As a fan there was enough brutality and gore in the second half to make up for the slow moving first half.

      31 is still a decent film, and better than most of the horror that Hollywood keeps pumping out. There's a style to Zombie's films that no one else has. The problem is that there are far too many questions about the game itself, and what happens if there's a winner? I want to see a Doom Head movie. This guy needs his own fucking movie. He's the reason why the 2nd half was so damn watchable. You can't help but like this guy. He's a fucking psycho, but exactly the kind of killer that we just don't see enough of in horror films. I finally liked this movie towards the end. It was exactly what I wanted to see, but the problem is that we've seen it before. Corpses did it better, but so what. I couldn't hate this if I wanted too. You have a survival horror film directed by Rob Zombie. You've seen these before and you will again, but not like this. This is one that will probably give you nightmares.

      The question here is, should you see it? It's all up to you. I thought the 2nd half was insane and just brutal enough to redeem itself, but there's that pesky first half to get through, and don't get me started on the shaky cam bullshit and the weird camera angles. Story wise it's simple. Survive or die. Nothing too deep, nothing to hard to figure out, but who will survive? That's usually why these fail, or succeed. Here it doesn't seem to matter. These are disposable characters who don't really matter all that much. They're there to either die brilliantly or spout clever quotes you can share on Facebook and Twitter.I think if you're a fan of horror you should check it out. It's got enough here to keep you interested, but the days of Zombie making a classic like Corpses, or even Salem may be long behind him. You'll instantly forget most of the film once it's over, but Doom Head? That fucker will give you nightmares!